An unusual and uplifting experience of trust
Tuesday, May 31st, 2011
Greetings from Hong Kong!
I am here for a few weeks visiting my daughter. As with all the metropolitan cities in our world today, it is forever evolving. But as HK is still disparagingly described as a cultural desert, I didn’t expect to encounter a giant international Art fair.
So, in spite of jet-lag I spent my first 3 days here happily lost in an art lovers paradise. On the last day, my daughter fell for a stunning limited edition print by a famous contemporary artist. Buying expensive art works is not normal a pastime for either of us but if it is for you, you may not be as surprised as we were by this following experience.
After a couple of hours of agonising to-buy-or-not-to-buy deliberation, my daughter took the plunge. On declaring her intention to buy, we were both staggered to hear from the gallery owner (a complete stranger from the UK across the side of the world) that she could walk away immediately with this expensive picture without parting with a penny or signing any commitment. He explained that they were confident that she would send them the money later. On seeing our mouths drop open, he reassured us that this was the way they liked to work. They preferred to operate on a basis of trust. He refused the offer of a handsome deposit and instead insisted on carrying the picture to a taxi for us.
On the way home we roared with laughter at the ‘naiveté’ of this method of doing business. But once our cynical gut-reaction had dissipated, we began to appreciate the great feeling that being trusted had given us. In the wake of its emotional glow, we started to reflect on other similar uplifting experiences we had with people whom we didn’t know. We shared story after story of occasions when trust had been honoured and also when we had benefitted from a stranger’s honesty in the face temptation. You could build a small mountain from the bags, purses, passports, jewellery,wallets, suitcases and items of beloved clothing that had been lost but which had all been promptly returned by nameless people looking for no material reward.
Don’t worry, I am not about to suggest that we should all take up the business model of this unusual art gallery. But I did wake up this morning thinking that this experience had given me an important reminder worth sharing. I’d forgotten what powerful mood-lifters such experiences of trust and honesty can be. When our ’souls’ are so battered and bruised by daily doses of depressing examples of human behaviour, perhaps we should share the opposite kinds experiences more widely and more frequently.
Confidence Boosts for Festive social events: Tip 1 – Stimulate your memory
Thursday, December 16th, 2010
Traumatic stresses (like party panic!), provoke an anxiety reaction in the brain which may inhibit the imprinting of memories. This is why you may not remember names and other important facts you hear when you first meet someone at a social networking event. Be aware of this and ensure you give your memory a helping hand and use these tips.
- repeat names as often as is appropriate after an introduction and using them again when you say goodbye
- ask how a name is spelt or if it is a diminutive
- make a link in your mind or out loud to another person with the same or similar name e.g.‘I had a very close friend at school who was also called David – he’s also an accountant now
- link the person’s name to a picture in your mind e.g.to remember David from Wales you could see his name on a flag on top of Snowdonia.
…and if you still forget, just simply admit it with smile and very brief apology. No need to include a possibly off-putting self-put-down such as “I’ve got a terrible memory.”
Adpated from: ‘Confident Networking’ by Gael and Stuart Lindenfield – new edition Piatkus 2010
Friday, December 3rd, 2010
It is hard to believe that a new decade of this millennium is already fast approaching. The older I get the more challenging I find these kinds of life milestone become. But because this new decade is launching in a climate of severe economic gloom, I know that it is going to be even harder. Indeed, the choruses of gloomy media predictions have now begun and I can feel myself already being emotionally infected with negativity. I know that I am going to have to work even harder to keep my own morale in good enough shape to be able to see the positive possibilities of the next decade. But I am determined to do so and moreover, I am totally confident that I will succeed.
Sounds arrogant? I hope not. It has taken many years to achieve this kind of faith in myself. It was finally cemented into my psyche when I flipped through the finished edition of my latest book earlier this year. I realised just how many tricks and techniques I could now pull out of my life-skills bag to fight off encroaching negativity. I felt very lucky and very privileged.
In order to share this treasured knowledge a bit more widely, I am currently trying to get to grips with the Twitter and Blogging world. Top on my list of resolutions for 2011 is to make use of these great new communication tools. But I am still very much in the dunce department of this field. Luckily my publishers Piatkus are helping me to get moving. They are currently Tweeting regular tips from my book (“101 Morale Boosters – Instant Comfort for Difficult times”) as well as providing lots of other information about other uplifting books. Clicking here will take you straight to their Twitter page: http://twitter.com/piatkusbooks
… and why not become one of my Twitter followers as well. Right now my resolution feels quite daunting and I am in need of loads of encouragement!
Click here to get to my own Twitter page :
I plan to post tips on coping with Christmas stress and also how to make the best of all the end and start of New Year social opportunities.
Lots of luck and good wishes